Husband & wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge:
"Your honour, I want to divorce my husband."
But why ?" asked the judge.
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know ?"
She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles Him."

Husband & wife - Love your enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and
said, "One month after I die, I want you to marry
Samy."
Samy! But he is your enemy!"
"Yes, I know that. I've suffered all these years; so
let him suffer now."

Husband & wife - Wedding ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger? "
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong
man."

Husband & wife - Why?
"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a
fax to my wife saying that I'd be home that night;
and when I got into my room I found my wife in
another man's arms. Why, dad? Tell me why!"

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said,
"Maybe, son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband & wife - Same service
A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said,
"When we were first married, I would come home from
the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our
cute little dog would run around barking. Now after
te! n years it's all different, I come home, the dog
brings the slippers and my wife runs around
barking."

Why complain?" said the counsellor. "You're still
getting the same service!"

Husband & wife - Talk about the husband
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always
speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my
husband is foolish,lazy and a coward; but
have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband & wife - Love to do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to
the couple next door and said, "Do you see that
couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every
time they meet. Why don't you do that?"

"I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I
don't know her well enough."

Husband & wife - No answer back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is
infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children
and
even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."

One of his friends asked. "And when you are angry,
what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the
windows
and doors of the house and none of them dare to
answer
back."

Husband & wife - Come home late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her
husband always came home late, no matter how she
tried
to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do
what I did. Once my husband came home at three
o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called
out:'Is tha! t you, J im?' And that cured him."

"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Husband & wife - Problem father
"You looked troubled," a man told his friend,
"what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful,"
The man said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't
know about it yet."